Sunday 29 September 2013

An intuder

The looming thought of the English exam crossed her mind as she sat on her bed after a long, exhausting swimming training session. The day had held multiple CAU work composing of silence and writing while her brain swarmed with other ideas; but she pushd them out and tried to focus on the current test. Why is tourism bad? How do you spell that? How do you program that? How would I phrase that the the number can never be negative? Why is Shakespeare right? Is love ever-lasting? Will my dad desert me? But she pushed harder so the thoughts just lingered in her sub-conscience.

Now all the thoughts came rushing back. She couldn't understand how she did it before the summer holidays when all that mattered was that test, or if something said something weird. Now, she couldn't care less that her friend cancelled shopping as she was 'grounded' when she knew she was going out to her boyfriend's house instead. All that plagued her mind was whether she will get the perfect prom dress, if she will find a new phone for her finished contract or if her dad will pay her university fees after he's got married- her step-mom might be evil. It was a strangest sensation; she had always wished that she didn't care what anyone thought but she still wanted to care about her school work or her families opinions. It was if her brain had inserted windows and everything that was important flew through and everything that was meagre stayed. She repeated to herself that she wasn't in the school frame of mind yet but she knew better: she was finally beyond caring, she was rebelling.

Her peers had rebelled during the previous years when the biggest consequence was a detention but now the stakes were higher, she could fail her GCSE's. They wouldn't turn in homework, they would get drunk or do some other self-expression mark. Maybe a tattoo or a belly piercing or even cutting themselves to gain attention. However, she just didn't care.

She turned very shallow; finding out her horoscope or newest beauty tip was more important than revising for her 25% of her geography coursework due tomorrow. Her closest friends became irritating and she wondered why she ever made friends with them or how she could cope with them for 5 years. She still watched her mouth though because she knew when she came out of this 'reverie' she would still like them and want her friends. It was if another person was living her life and overtook her body.

This other person cared about horoscopes, as far as living of what it said. When she knew she should be revising, the horoscope had said explore your talent and so she did. Although, she didn't know her talent; she still doesn't but she reverted to this instead. Her closest means of talent. She even adjusted her 400 songs on iTunes to avoid her homework.

The smallest suspicion that her partner in English liked her, grew until that's all she thought about. Although she knew deep inside her heart that he didn't, no-one would like her, but she did it so her mind was kept off topic. The choice of wallpaper plagued her mind rather than her upcoming CV writing or that she needed to apply for 6th forms soon before the deadlines.

In case you hadn't realised this so far, this mysterious girl with an intruder in her body is read.all.aboutt.it - she's me. The idea to write in third person is much easier to address her problems and convey them to her readers. She knows you may not understand what she feels like or that you may think that the 'Devil' has come into her, but it's nothing religious. She's just worried that this effect will have devastating long-term effects.

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