Pumpkin Soup

Have you seen Kate Nash's song Pumpkin Soup, even though it sounds really unique and different. However it is as cliquey as all the other songs. In other words it is very misleading; it never once mentions the words pumpkin soup and should be called 'kiss boy' instead. Don't get me wrong, i love Kate Nash, she has a very unique voice and its a bit like Lily Allen and Eliza Doolittle.

Soon enough, i will have a new mommy! Wooh! My Dad is getting remarried and only told us 2 weeks before the actual ceremony. I mean, are you actually kidding me? I got so angry and stomped around Sainsbury's whilst shoving every expensive item in the trolley- is i couldn't break verbally i would break his credit card. But that's old news now, i have now got over it. What ever happened has happened. Right? so i now concentrated on the minor details: my clothes, make-up, hair, jewelry and even painful mistake that would cost me later, bridesmaids? Since we didn't know about the wedding, we hadn't brought any dresses or make-up or anything that would be suitable for your dads marriage. Of course he thought of this- well, just the clothes- and bought us a dress each but he didn't have our measurements so instead of asking us like any reasonable person, he made them up. He just gave the tailor our heights and then let them do the rest. They are ugly. Not only do i look like a Christmas tree and flat-chested but i also look 5. I mean the height of myself would lead you to conclude that anyway but this dress is absolutely no help whatsoever. Last time, he nought us the most beautiful dresses and i have no doubt that they were expensive but it wasn't even for his wedding. This time, he scrimps out for his own WEDDING! That doesn't make sense, i mean i'm not a guy but even that logic for a guy doesn't even make sense.

Anyway, about the bridesmaid thing. I just wanted to be a part of Dad's wedding,  i didn't want to be left out even though spending the whole day with a woman i have met twice,i still fail to comprehend how i thought that would make me a bigger part of the wedding! So now, we have to endure little things for her because of my gobby mouth. Such a large mouth on such a small person. Its kind of contradictory. Isn't it? My really tall friends are shy. Now the world is really a strange place.

If there's no food in the house, what do you do? I mean, the logical explanation would be to go and buy more food right? No, i mean my Dad is a whole kind of special. He decided that me and my sister need exercise and make us walk to Sainsbury's to buy at first, just bread then some vegetables and then frozen pizza. Just frigging go to the supermarket!! But you have to wait a week in his books. Then we couldn't just the kitchen paper because it was too expensive, but i don't mean in the supermarket but he had already bought the kitchen roll. But we weren't allowed to use it. What? So it's just there to look good with the duck perched on it's head? Then he got angry because i took the last mug and he had to wash another one! What is going through that mans head?


I am just going to put this weird behaviour- yes, this is weird for my Dad, he is normally a little tight with money but this is extreme- to the fact that he is getting married and has loads of people going to come from America and such. 

Anyway, if you want to listen to the inspiration of this post;  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LCr81kVTdqE
And if you like reading, some of my early works in the making: http://www.wattpad.com/user/whatifx

So this is like pumpkin soup- nothing to do with Pumpkin Soup. :)
 

A little post, like me

Have you noticed how I have been on this loads recently; that's because it's the summer and I am so bored. I literally tidied the towel cupboard, the shoe cupboard and all the kitchen cupboards to avoid homework. Now I am leaving for the rest of the summer holidays and won't get back the day before I have to go to school! Way to go me! I get to come back to rushing around frantically to finish my homework when I know full well that it's a week worth.
Anyway, I think this frequent upload thing, it's going to stop i'm going to go back to the too lazy to do anything- even my laptop. I know, i'm just frankly weird. I don't know how I spend me weekdays. Normally you just surf the internet or play video games or practise sports. Me? I don't know...maybe i'll lie down because I had to walk to the bus stop today...6 hours ago. Therefore I need a rest. Honestly, I don't know how my day goes. I don't sit and watch the clock...like in ICT.
I know I will be bored when I go on holiday because that's a lot of time to fill when we always go to the same place and there's only so much to do. But the chances of me going to the computer are very slim because there are many other things to do; browse youtube and admire TROYE SIVAN'S FACE! Have you seen it? It's like mother nature, herself sculpted him. If you don't know who he is...just go away or google him. I would go with google him because then you can drool over him too! And he's not too old for me either! He's only 18. HAHA! I'm only joking, the chances of me getting with a Youtube star are very slim. Like I grew tall and pretty over the summer. I will actually believe that I may have a chance that maybe Troye could like me....just maybe.
Oh yeah..i was meant to be doing my geography...right........
Like I said: a little post. :)

PS. I kinda do like comments. Even though I am not doing this for reads, I promised myself. Anyone can comment even if you don't have an account.

Dear Mother...

I just want to say that since I don't have to face your face anymore, I thought I would write this letter to you. I ran away for many reasons but the main was I couldn't deal with you anymore. I couldn't deal with your lies, your teasing that actually also had something to do with my lack of confidence and your loneliness that converts to emotional neediness.
I am truly sorry, mother, that your marriage didn't work out. But it has been 5 years, please move on. Dad has. You want us to be your children, your husband and everything else. You have stopped treating us like children but more like pets; order us about and still expect admiration, respect and good attitude. I don't think you understand the meaning of hypocrisy. Because if you did, you wouldn't say you need help with the ironing because you can't do it all but if I say could you help, when i'm doing it, all hell breaks lose and I am a weakling.
You are fine for short periods of time but you're like Thornton's ice-cream, you can only take so many before you feel sick and overwhelmed.

Do not ever think that I don't love you....

Yours truly,
Your daughter

P.S. I left because there were times when I had to remind myself that I had only two years left with you, then I can leave you. No child should feel that.

That's what I would have said to my mother if I did leave but I can't leave, I have to save up and get a decent education. Don't get me wrong, I am not being abused or crap. Just tired of my mother's crap. I'm such a weakling because hundreds of people go through this but I can't deal with it. I needed to get it out there.....if I can't confide in friends, a diary(too lazy to write) or family I go to the worldwide internet. I know you think I am a bitch. But I would never actually say that; I don't have the courage and I am just angry. I'm just the usual hormonal teenager.

Like a bubbly ginger ale....

I AM BACK! Not like terminator, I am not going round killing people. But I am back to being my cheery,  naïve, annoying, peppy self. If you did not know my age: fifteen(recently turned) you would indeed think I was 8. Firstly because I am the size of a garden gnome and secondly because I am VERY childish.

It's like I have many different faces, mainly the one of being smiley but somehow at school I manage this perception that I am quiet, shy and hard-working. When indeed my mother has had to confiscate my IPhone, my brand new shoes(that I loved so much I even did the hoover in them) and my free-time. I am now being forced to learn how to cook, it's not even a little splash into the pool with a step-by-step guide but a push-off-the-cliff-into-the-deepest-part-of-the-ocean. I was made to do a roast chicken on Sunday...I know grown women(mostly on desperate housewives) who struggle to cook one of them. But of course a fifteen year-old who struggles to make gravy(adding hot water to a powder) will be fine, cooking a chicken -in which you could get a disease from it being under cooked-, making sweet potato chips, a marinade and making some kind of side of vegetables to go with it. Let me tell you now: IT WAS NOT FINE.

i may not be the best reader of body language but I know when someone looks as if they're going to sick whilst shoving my food in their mouth. IT IS NOT TASTY. So mother, i don't know what century you grew up in but in this one...you may as well spill the truth because lying will induce you to further torture when i try to cook more - which i wont be doing- and force you to eat it.

Although i have recently discovered i am not a entire fail in the kitchen; i was thirsty on the now cold, rainy British day so i wanted a steamy hot mocha. but of course there was none, i used my magnificent culinary skills to put coffee grains in a mug as well as hot chocolate powder in the same mug. Creating a mocha of my own accord! i am not a total fail of a woman. I'll just have to date a chef or Tesco...so they can provide me with ready-meals for my entire life. SEE MOTHER I DO NOT NEED TO KNOW HOW TO ROAST A CHICKEN WHEN ASDA DOES HOT CHICKEN COOKED AND READY TO EAT!!!!

this same principle should be taken into account for school, you always see those funny links to pictures where they state why they don't need maths: they have a calculator, history: they're already dead. But my reason is more serious to that, i mean so just because Hitler is dead we should forget him and let Nazi's rule because Hitler's dead so we shouldn't worry. NO DUMBASS! Or when you're in the market buying peaches and the greedy person behind the counter asks for £5 for two peaches, are you going to get out your calculator to check that two peaches at 50p each should be £5? Let me tell you know: markets are busy places. If you do not say something, someone will push you to the back so they can ask for tomatoes even though it's a stand clearly just for peaches. No, my main point is that why should you learn irrelevant stuff that just junks up your brain? I don't need to know poems to become a pilot....

I don't want to become a pilot..it was just an example. I mean i lose every single game on Mario kart and i am literally the worst person on the small helicopter rides on the fairground because i always end up with the broken one that won't move and inch. I would end up with the faulty plane or i would break it.....

Anyway, i just don't think we should be forced to learn the stuff that we won't need; geography, i don't want to be a geographer but i had to take a humanities!! I love geography because it is fairly easy but i would have much rather taken an option that maybe taught me how democracy works or just basic plumbing courses so I'm not entirely helpless or what to do now to help me get into universities. That would be so much more helpful than finding out if tourism has a positive or negative effect on Jamaica or something!

And i thought i wasn't girly enough....i just spent this whole thing ranting. And a woman loves to rant.

Hasta la Vista, baby.

So maybe i am like terminator....


PS. Just wondering if there was anyone out there actually reading. I didn't realise i had limited comments to users only, so its open to everyone now. Just send me a comment. I'm not one of those people just in this for the reads i just needed something to get my messed-up brain some place to free. But i was just curious. :)